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Why You Only Need Approval from One Person





Have you ever wanted others' approval?

Whether it's a big or small decision



I did for many years

I wanted my parents and my older sis's approval

For big and small decisions

Mostly I knew my answer anyway and would stick to it,

Because I'm stubborn as hell

but still desired their approval

Part of me felt they knew best

Or that the world felt right if they agreed with my decisions



I thought I was done with that

In my forties I didn't need my parents and sis's approval anymore

In my fifties I thought I was done with everyone's approval

Now I'm 60 and noticed a few red flags lately

That made me wonder what lessons I still needed to learn


  • Was concerned about what others thought about my pickle ball skills... felt like I had to prove that I'm a decent player, whereas if you're a guy, you're already a good player

  • Was at dinner with friends and they ordered an asian salad... my body said 'no', don't try it... when my husband urged me to try a bite a few times, I acquiesced... and then I got sick because it had shellfish in it (I'm allergic)



Just when you think you're all good, lesson learned

Nope!

Life throws a curve ball


There'll always be something to work on, to learn... sometimes again and again



Then I was curious about men vs. women on this topic

The pickle ball male/female concern made me wonder about this.... do men want approval from others too? Or is it only a woman thing.



I interviewed twenty men and women of all ages




MEN 50+

Don't need others approval

Feel strongly that they know the right answers

They were usually taught not to be emotional and to be strong


WOMEN 50+

Want others approval

Aren't strong or good enough to make decisions themselves - at least during part of their lives

Were taught that others come first - to be nurturers, listen to authority, be nice


MEN & WOMEN UNDER 50

Want others approval

See themselves as less of the authority of their own lives

Are concerned with how others feel/think about them when making a decision



Of course there are exceptions

This is a snapshot





WANTING vs. NEEDING APPROVAL


It's perfectly fine to want approval from others

As long as it's a fleeting thought you don't dwell on

And it's natural, especially from people you love and respect

Needing approval from others on the other hand

To make a decision

Or to feel good about a decision

Will get you into trouble


WHY


We're all one

Yet we're all different at the same time

Different personalities, desires, goals, dreams, thoughts



YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE ANSWERS FOR YOU

AND YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

IT WILL ALWAYS TELL YOU THE ANSWERS



But, you say

I have responsibilities

There are others lives to consider


Here's the deal


The Universe Always Has Your Back

If you love yourself and listen to yourself

It will be the right answer for you

And in turn, will be the right answer for those around you


It's not about thinking logically with your head

If you have to write a list of the pros and cons to find your answer

That's bull

That's you fighting against what you already know in your body


This 'putting yourself first' and trusting your instincts

Is not being bitchy

Is not being selfish

It's being real, the REAL YOU

The authentic you

And then you're a better, happier you

When you accept yourself and are in that zone of 'WOW, THIS FEELS RIGHT AND AMAZING!'

You meet the incredible you

Your light'll shine bright and everyone will see it

And then they'll want some of what you have

They'll want to be near you

And the cycle continues

And expands


That doesn't mean life is easy

That doesn't mean everything'll be rosy

It does mean that



YOU DESERVE YOU

YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS, LOVE










What about Larleen, think she needs others' approval?

My guess is hell no

But if she follows the statistics above, she'd be a hell yes....











Would love to hear from you

With questions, comments, your stories about this topic

Send me a note, CLICK HERE



And be sure to share this information

With anyone who needs to hear this



Journey to the Unique Magical *Sacred You*

xo Kathleen Naomi



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