Have you ever wanted others' approval?
Whether it's a big or small decision
I did for many years
I wanted my parents and my older sis's approval
For big and small decisions
Mostly I knew my answer anyway and would stick to it,
Because I'm stubborn as hell
but still desired their approval
Part of me felt they knew best
Or that the world felt right if they agreed with my decisions
I thought I was done with that
In my forties I didn't need my parents and sis's approval anymore
In my fifties I thought I was done with everyone's approval
Now I'm 60 and noticed a few red flags lately
That made me wonder what lessons I still needed to learn
Was concerned about what others thought about my pickle ball skills... felt like I had to prove that I'm a decent player, whereas if you're a guy, you're already a good player
Was at dinner with friends and they ordered an asian salad... my body said 'no', don't try it... when my husband urged me to try a bite a few times, I acquiesced... and then I got sick because it had shellfish in it (I'm allergic)
Just when you think you're all good, lesson learned
Nope!
Life throws a curve ball
There'll always be something to work on, to learn... sometimes again and again
Then I was curious about men vs. women on this topic
The pickle ball male/female concern made me wonder about this.... do men want approval from others too? Or is it only a woman thing.
I interviewed twenty men and women of all ages
MEN 50+
Don't need others approval
Feel strongly that they know the right answers
They were usually taught not to be emotional and to be strong
WOMEN 50+
Want others approval
Aren't strong or good enough to make decisions themselves - at least during part of their lives
Were taught that others come first - to be nurturers, listen to authority, be nice
MEN & WOMEN UNDER 50
Want others approval
See themselves as less of the authority of their own lives
Are concerned with how others feel/think about them when making a decision
Of course there are exceptions
This is a snapshot
WANTING vs. NEEDING APPROVAL
It's perfectly fine to want approval from others
As long as it's a fleeting thought you don't dwell on
And it's natural, especially from people you love and respect
Needing approval from others on the other hand
To make a decision
Or to feel good about a decision
Will get you into trouble
WHY
We're all one
Yet we're all different at the same time
Different personalities, desires, goals, dreams, thoughts
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS THE ANSWERS FOR YOU
AND YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
IT WILL ALWAYS TELL YOU THE ANSWERS
But, you say
I have responsibilities
There are others lives to consider
Here's the deal
The Universe Always Has Your Back
If you love yourself and listen to yourself
It will be the right answer for you
And in turn, will be the right answer for those around you
It's not about thinking logically with your head
If you have to write a list of the pros and cons to find your answer
That's bull
That's you fighting against what you already know in your body
This 'putting yourself first' and trusting your instincts
Is not being bitchy
Is not being selfish
It's being real, the REAL YOU
The authentic you
And then you're a better, happier you
When you accept yourself and are in that zone of 'WOW, THIS FEELS RIGHT AND AMAZING!'
You meet the incredible you
Your light'll shine bright and everyone will see it
And then they'll want some of what you have
They'll want to be near you
And the cycle continues
And expands
That doesn't mean life is easy
That doesn't mean everything'll be rosy
It does mean that
YOU DESERVE YOU
YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS, LOVE
What about Larleen, think she needs others' approval?
My guess is hell no
But if she follows the statistics above, she'd be a hell yes....
Would love to hear from you
With questions, comments, your stories about this topic
Send me a note, CLICK HERE
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With anyone who needs to hear this
Journey to the Unique Magical *Sacred You*
xo Kathleen Naomi