Never in my wildest dreams did i imagine i'd be a Psychic Medium
KNEW WHERE I'D LIVE
One summer night when I was thirteen
I sat on the porch with my bestie, my dog
In my small Illinois farm town of 550 people
And looked out at the dark sky
The millions of stars
Knowing that there was a whole wide world out there
Waiting for me
That was one of the moments I knew
The knowing
That I'd live in these places....
Texas
California
A big city
A foreign country
TEXAS
I was always drawn to Texas
Even as a little girl
Something about it was romantic
Cowboys, ranches, Dallas Cowboys and the pretty Cheerleaders
I wanted to be one of them
When I was a junior in high school
It was that time
To think of a career path
Or at least if and where you'd attend college
I had no interest in attending a University at that time
My two passions as a child - acting and interior design
So when one of my classmates (class of 30 people)
Had a friend attending a fashion school in Arlington, Texas
That was my sign
And I was beyond ECSTATIC
a) to move to Texas
b) to attend a Fashion School
And that, my friend, is when you KNOW
When you can decide to DO YOU
Your body tells you everything
When it feels beyond ECSTATIC
That's YOU
On a cool Fall Day in 1982
I packed my big green Caprice Classic
With two suitcases and my small white 13" tv
Followed my parents car
And drove from Cornell, Illinois to Arlington, Texas
When my parents dropped me off at the Fashion School
And I watched them drive down the road
Heading back to Illinois
My heart had a hole as big as China
I never felt more lost and lonely in my life
All I knew was my parents, my big sis, my friends, my dog, my hometown
All that was gone
I was in new territory
my parents in front of the Fashion School before they drove back to Illinois
Arlington, Texas was nothing like my small town
It was big, fast, expensive
And I didn't know anyone
Some with a southern accent
Some even from the midwest where I was from
Yet they were all strangers
As much as I knew I was meant to be in Texas
At this Fashion School
I balled my eyes out every night for a year
It was the toughest year of my life
It was also my first life-line
To see the world, to grow, to start to learn - to be the real me
the small white tv is on the left
My parents paid for my schooling
And living expenses so that I didn't have to work that year
And could focus on school
And they sent me a ticket to visit them at Christmas
They didn't have tons of money
So I appreciated everything they did
And for having faith in me
And sending me to this school
It meant the world
I attended Fashion School for one year
And I knew that was enough of that
I didn't have a good instinct about the school
In regard to where it would take me
And I didn't want to waste my parents money
So I decided to stay in Texas
And get a job as a secretary
Until I figured out what I wanted to do
Going back to Illinois at this time would have felt like
A big failure
I needed to stay put for now
My first secretarial job was at a motorcycle distribution company
Where my boss screamed at everybody
Every day
So I found another job at LTV Aerospace and Defense Company
Working on the B2 Bomber project
Which at the time was a black hole top secret project
Back then the guy sitting behind me smoked all day
Ja ja, oh the good old days
big hair days
Eventually I knew I wanted more
And started taking college courses part-time
My boss's advice was to study the field of computers
His son was heading in that direction
We didn't even have computers then
I typed on an electric typewriter
One day it was crystal clear that I would move back to Illinois
and attend a University
Again, it was that excitement I felt in my body
The excitement that you can't ignore
That's when you DO YOU
Even though I had a boyfriend in Texas
I knew in my heart that he wasn't the one
He had already cheated on me
Yet I had gone back to him
I had no confidence back then
I did know that I was leaving anyway
Seven years after I left Illinois
I was heading back home
good bye lunch from the girls i worked with
still one of my besties today
In 1989
I packed up a small u-haul with my furniture and clothes
That we attached to my parents truck
Who once again drove to Texas
This time to pick me up
Hopped in my used grey manual BMW-320i
And drove back home to Illinois to attend Northern Illinois University
Where I received my bachelors in Accounting
And my masters in Management Information Systems
my parents truck and the uhaul at my apartment in Arlington
Interesting observation when I lived in Texas...
everyone dressed up to go EVERYWHERE
including the grocery store
not sure if it's still like that - I doubt it
Larleen's tidbit about Texas...
Coming up next
Ghosts in California
it's simple, do you
xo Kathleen Naomi
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